(REAL Family Press - 2006 - copyrighted by Linda Nelson - AKA "The Lady - for The Peanut)
My mom tells me she's taking me to this "obedience class thingy" tomorrow at the place she adopted me from... I'm not so sure I know what that is all about, but she tells me it will make me a better doggie...
I already do "stay", "sit", "come here", "heel" and "howdy-doo", so just how much more does she want me to do?... She says she's not 'officially trained' so I'm not either... I sorta/kinda resent that... I mean - how will being 'officially trained" make me a better doggie?...
I can also chase those big black crows out of my yard, sit on my mom's hip when we go into stores, sit quietly for AN ENTIRE HOUR on her lap when I need to, lick the whipped creme off of Sissy's Starbuck Venti Carmel Macchiato and not touch her straw, find the chicken strips in the truck's center console, share all of my beds with my pack mates... Whew!... I didn't realize I knew as much as I did!!!... What's with Mom?... How much more do I need to learn?...
Now if she could teach me what that new animal is next door to me that I see through the fence, that would be teaching me something new... It's got four legs, smells like a doggie, but doesn't give back the proper bark... Instead it makes other sounds and runs around, chasing it's tail... It's smaller than me... I think it's a doggie, but it must be a baby 'cause it doesn't speak any kind of Dog-lish I know!
Maybe it should go to this class instead of me to learn proper Dog-lish, huh?
I try woofing at it every time I'm allowed to go out back, but it just doesn't answer me in any language I ever heard... Oh, and that's another thing now that I come to think of it... I am bi-lingual... I speak Dog-lish and People-lish... The more I think about this whole thing, the more I think I don't need to go to class on Saturday!!
I'm wondering if any of those dogs there tomorrow already know how to eat off of a fork? I do... Ain't I a smartie??!!...
And I said a proper 'thank you' to Mom this week when she made me another sweater too!... It's bright red - one of my favorite colors... So I have proper doggie manners to boot!... Yep, the more I think about it, the more I think I should talk Mom out of this class... Wonder if she'll allow me to play hookey?... She's been talking about this for the past month or more, so I'm not so sure she'd be convinced...
I just don't know what else they could teach me!
Love,
The Peanut
Sunday, December 10, 2006
Saturday, November 25, 2006
Visitors on Turkey Day

(REAL Family Press - 2006 - copyrighted by Linda Nelson - AKA "The Lady - for The Peanut)
We have visitors now... Well, at least I think they're visitors... Two humans arrived here last week and they brought two puppers with them... My mom acted like she knew them and so did the rest of my pack, but I sure didn't!... And I'm not sure if I like these new visitors or not...
They came with a WHOLE lotta stuff... Even beds, for Pete's Sakes!... I think if you bring your bed with you, you must intend to stay for awhile, right?... Ut oh...
My mom told me it's HER mom and her mom's rescues... Robbie is an old man and really doesn't want to play with me very much... And he coughs a lot too... My mom says I need to be more gentle with him...
And the other one?... Muffin?... She does NOT like me and I feel just about the same way too!... My mom fusses at me when I don't get along with the visitors 'cause she says it's not very polite at all...
But what's a peanut to do?... I mean, they're even eating out of MY food bowl too!... What's with that?... And they get treats and goodies just like we do!... Geezie, peezie!...
I thought I had enough to 'patrol' around here with the four puppies next door... My mom says I need to be polite and not bark at them too... But my dad says it sounds like we're out 'killing lions' in the backyard now... And they don't let me out as much as I'd like to go because I bark too much at the puppies next door... What's with that nonsense??...
I can see them... Well, sorta/kinda... Through the slats in the fence... And I sure can smell them... They don't cry as much as they used to, but they sure do run around and so I have to bark at them anyway... Then mom comes out and fusses at me for that too!...
Some days it just seems like I can't win no matter what I do!... Ut oh - gotta go!!!... Those new indoor, UNINVITED visitors are headed toward my food bowl again!!!....
Love,
The Peanut
Thursday, October 5, 2006
Mom Says I'm The Smartest!!
(excerpt REAL Family Press - 2006 - copyrighted by Linda Nelson - AKA "The Lady)
Afternoon, Y’all… I personally think Peanut is the smartest of my four puppers… Smart as in ‘scary smart’… And yet again today she proved it once again… LOL…
Desiree was sitting at the table doing her homework today as she ‘cheeseballed’ yesterday for most of it and didn’t get anything done… I went to the sink to do something and turned on the faucet… Peanut barked once – just once – VERY LOUDLY – and looked directly at me with that ‘alert’ look of hers… Peanut’s bark startled Des so badly that she wrote on her homework worksheet by accident as her hand moved… LOL…
I looked quickly over to the water bowl on the floor and saw it was empty… “OK, Peanut – I see it – I’m on it”… A few seconds later (almost with an incredible tone in her voice), Desiree turns to me (must have just sunk in) and said, “Mom – did she just tell you she was thirsty?”… “Yes, didn’t you get it?... She heard the water running and knows that’s where their water comes from”… I thought it was pretty obvious, but then again I spend a lot of time with the puppers too… LOL…
It’s not the first time Peanut’s ‘communicated’ but then again I guess you need to connect stuff when she does… She has an AWFULLY shrill bark and I admit it’s pretty darned annoying when she gets going – especially if she perceives a threat to ‘her’ domain around here…
I have a habit of opening doors and windows to catch the breezes and it’s not uncommon to have our front door open with just the screen door locked… Usually the last one to bed around here checks the windows and doors before they turn in…
Last week, sometime during the night, Peanut went into her ‘frenzy’ barking mode and woke me up… I heard Des holler from her room “PEANUT~~!!” which usually does quiet her down, but this time it didn’t… So I knew enough to get up and figure out what made her bark – and found the front door wide open and only the hook on the screen door – and found Peanut standing by their gate between the kitchen and the living room, refusing to budge… Obviously she must have heard something outside she didn’t like…
She is a quirky dog though… As little as she is, she HAS to be the FIRST one out the back door, through the patio and around the back corner of the house… Don’t ask me why, but she’ll break her neck to be the FIRST…

And I can say ‘potty’ – Rogaine, BooBooDog and YogiBear almost always go, but not Peanut… She goes when she wants to… And when it’s chilly outside in the mornings?... If I don’t pick her up and force her outside half the time, she won’t stir from her bed at all… LOL…
Unfortunately, as much of a ‘mountain goat’ as she is, she can’t jump up on the new bed ‘cause it’s too tall for her… She can get down – just not up… And when I’m sleeping, she MUST be either curled up by my stomach or RIGHT on top of my hip underneath the covers…
If I’m sitting on the double recliner watching TV, ‘her’ spot is on my lap… Regardless…
And if she happens to be a bit chilly?... Out come the paws, pawing at my dress or nightgown looking for a way to get covered up… I’ve learned (finally!!) to keep a blankee right by my seat to quickly grab so she can ‘mole’ underneath it and leave my clothes alone… After she’s gotten it just the way she likes it, she’ll then stick her head out one corner of it with it draped over her head and ears, looking like one of those berckas the Afghanistan women wear… It never fails to make me laugh when she does it!!!
As smart as she is, she still hasn’t gotten the idea of why she can’t sit at my lap when I’m on the computer or sewing… Especially sewing at the sewing machine – that seems to bother her more than anything else for some strange reason…
A few weeks ago I grabbed what my family calls ‘drumsticks’… They’re ice cream in a cone you can buy at the store - know what I’m talking about?... Paul and Des almost have a competition over who eats the most of them when I buy a box… Dunno why I grabbed it that day – I really only like soft ice cream (like from Dairy Queen) or ice cream ala mode on apple pie or peach cobbler… Guess I was hot that day and it looked good to me in the freezer…
But Peanut is a major fast food junkie – or whatever Mom is eating… We were headed out to go get Desiree from school and once I got past the hard chocolate coating on it, I decided I really didn’t want it (nor the calories)… So I debated as to what I was going to do with it and didn’t want to toss it outside the window either… I ended up ‘planting’ it in the carry-all on the floor, planning on putting it in the trash once I got to the school…
LOL… Peanut decided looking out the window wasn’t as intriguing as that drumstick and moseyed over to the edge of the seat, stretching as far as she could to reach it… She was too little and when I saw what she was after, I picked it up and ‘anchored’ it with the cone between one of the two cracks in the bench seat of the truck… To tell ya the truth, when I did it, I didn’t think much of it – just made it easier for her to lick the ice cream cone and figured better that then it melt and make a mess, ya know?...
Traffic on the street around the school (or the streets even heading to the school) around dismissal time gets pretty hairy… You’ve got to have eyes in back of your head to avoid an accident with the new teen drivers… Or the adults in a big hurry – or trying to cut you off to get there first - because their time is more important than yours, ya know?…
At first I didn’t pay much attention to this Explorer, but then it seemed like he was almost trying to race me – pulling up, sliding back and then pulling up aside of me again… Finally I looked over when he was aside of me to see at least three kids (and the driver) with their faces almost plastered to their windows, (apparently) looking at Peanut licking this drumstick stuck in the seat cushion cracks… By this time she’d licked it WAY down and was trying to get at that bottom part, coming up for air here and there… LOL…
I guess it was a funny sight to them but to us, that’s a pretty normal sight around here… We’ve learned with these puppers to always expect the unexpected – and you’ll always have a laugh at something they do during the day…
Some things AREN’T funny – for example - Peanut is like washing your car… Ya know? The day you wash it, it will rain?... For sure as soon as Peanut gets a bath, she’ll find something black or dirty outside to get messed up again… Maybe she likes baths so much she’s gotta have two in the same day?... LOL… But for the most part, I’ve gotta laugh at most of what Peanut does…
Even though she’s not even half the size of BooBooDog, Peanut will always figure out a way to get around the other three – even if she has to go underneath them… She’s right at ‘tail height’ for the other three, so once they’ve started wagging their tails and circled around me, it’s not uncommon for her to close her eyes and just ‘doggie crawl’ underneath their bellies (and tails) to get the closer than the rest…
Peanut also has a pair of doggie goggles she likes to wear to put her head in the breeze out the window… If she doesn’t have them on, she doesn’t care much for that behavior and is more content to have the window cracked and just look out… LOL…
Yep – she’s something else… Then again, all four are so unique and different in their own ways, you gotta stay on your toes just to keep with them and their behaviors!... Now if I could just learn and advanced form of ‘doggie speak’ I’d have it made!... LOL… I probably miss half of what they’re saying to me!!... And it's NOT because I'm from the South either!!
As Always,
The Lady
Afternoon, Y’all… I personally think Peanut is the smartest of my four puppers… Smart as in ‘scary smart’… And yet again today she proved it once again… LOL…
Desiree was sitting at the table doing her homework today as she ‘cheeseballed’ yesterday for most of it and didn’t get anything done… I went to the sink to do something and turned on the faucet… Peanut barked once – just once – VERY LOUDLY – and looked directly at me with that ‘alert’ look of hers… Peanut’s bark startled Des so badly that she wrote on her homework worksheet by accident as her hand moved… LOL…
I looked quickly over to the water bowl on the floor and saw it was empty… “OK, Peanut – I see it – I’m on it”… A few seconds later (almost with an incredible tone in her voice), Desiree turns to me (must have just sunk in) and said, “Mom – did she just tell you she was thirsty?”… “Yes, didn’t you get it?... She heard the water running and knows that’s where their water comes from”… I thought it was pretty obvious, but then again I spend a lot of time with the puppers too… LOL…
It’s not the first time Peanut’s ‘communicated’ but then again I guess you need to connect stuff when she does… She has an AWFULLY shrill bark and I admit it’s pretty darned annoying when she gets going – especially if she perceives a threat to ‘her’ domain around here…
I have a habit of opening doors and windows to catch the breezes and it’s not uncommon to have our front door open with just the screen door locked… Usually the last one to bed around here checks the windows and doors before they turn in…
Last week, sometime during the night, Peanut went into her ‘frenzy’ barking mode and woke me up… I heard Des holler from her room “PEANUT~~!!” which usually does quiet her down, but this time it didn’t… So I knew enough to get up and figure out what made her bark – and found the front door wide open and only the hook on the screen door – and found Peanut standing by their gate between the kitchen and the living room, refusing to budge… Obviously she must have heard something outside she didn’t like…
She is a quirky dog though… As little as she is, she HAS to be the FIRST one out the back door, through the patio and around the back corner of the house… Don’t ask me why, but she’ll break her neck to be the FIRST…

And I can say ‘potty’ – Rogaine, BooBooDog and YogiBear almost always go, but not Peanut… She goes when she wants to… And when it’s chilly outside in the mornings?... If I don’t pick her up and force her outside half the time, she won’t stir from her bed at all… LOL…
Unfortunately, as much of a ‘mountain goat’ as she is, she can’t jump up on the new bed ‘cause it’s too tall for her… She can get down – just not up… And when I’m sleeping, she MUST be either curled up by my stomach or RIGHT on top of my hip underneath the covers…
If I’m sitting on the double recliner watching TV, ‘her’ spot is on my lap… Regardless…
And if she happens to be a bit chilly?... Out come the paws, pawing at my dress or nightgown looking for a way to get covered up… I’ve learned (finally!!) to keep a blankee right by my seat to quickly grab so she can ‘mole’ underneath it and leave my clothes alone… After she’s gotten it just the way she likes it, she’ll then stick her head out one corner of it with it draped over her head and ears, looking like one of those berckas the Afghanistan women wear… It never fails to make me laugh when she does it!!!
As smart as she is, she still hasn’t gotten the idea of why she can’t sit at my lap when I’m on the computer or sewing… Especially sewing at the sewing machine – that seems to bother her more than anything else for some strange reason…
A few weeks ago I grabbed what my family calls ‘drumsticks’… They’re ice cream in a cone you can buy at the store - know what I’m talking about?... Paul and Des almost have a competition over who eats the most of them when I buy a box… Dunno why I grabbed it that day – I really only like soft ice cream (like from Dairy Queen) or ice cream ala mode on apple pie or peach cobbler… Guess I was hot that day and it looked good to me in the freezer…
But Peanut is a major fast food junkie – or whatever Mom is eating… We were headed out to go get Desiree from school and once I got past the hard chocolate coating on it, I decided I really didn’t want it (nor the calories)… So I debated as to what I was going to do with it and didn’t want to toss it outside the window either… I ended up ‘planting’ it in the carry-all on the floor, planning on putting it in the trash once I got to the school…
LOL… Peanut decided looking out the window wasn’t as intriguing as that drumstick and moseyed over to the edge of the seat, stretching as far as she could to reach it… She was too little and when I saw what she was after, I picked it up and ‘anchored’ it with the cone between one of the two cracks in the bench seat of the truck… To tell ya the truth, when I did it, I didn’t think much of it – just made it easier for her to lick the ice cream cone and figured better that then it melt and make a mess, ya know?...
Traffic on the street around the school (or the streets even heading to the school) around dismissal time gets pretty hairy… You’ve got to have eyes in back of your head to avoid an accident with the new teen drivers… Or the adults in a big hurry – or trying to cut you off to get there first - because their time is more important than yours, ya know?…
At first I didn’t pay much attention to this Explorer, but then it seemed like he was almost trying to race me – pulling up, sliding back and then pulling up aside of me again… Finally I looked over when he was aside of me to see at least three kids (and the driver) with their faces almost plastered to their windows, (apparently) looking at Peanut licking this drumstick stuck in the seat cushion cracks… By this time she’d licked it WAY down and was trying to get at that bottom part, coming up for air here and there… LOL…
I guess it was a funny sight to them but to us, that’s a pretty normal sight around here… We’ve learned with these puppers to always expect the unexpected – and you’ll always have a laugh at something they do during the day…
Some things AREN’T funny – for example - Peanut is like washing your car… Ya know? The day you wash it, it will rain?... For sure as soon as Peanut gets a bath, she’ll find something black or dirty outside to get messed up again… Maybe she likes baths so much she’s gotta have two in the same day?... LOL… But for the most part, I’ve gotta laugh at most of what Peanut does…
Even though she’s not even half the size of BooBooDog, Peanut will always figure out a way to get around the other three – even if she has to go underneath them… She’s right at ‘tail height’ for the other three, so once they’ve started wagging their tails and circled around me, it’s not uncommon for her to close her eyes and just ‘doggie crawl’ underneath their bellies (and tails) to get the closer than the rest…
Peanut also has a pair of doggie goggles she likes to wear to put her head in the breeze out the window… If she doesn’t have them on, she doesn’t care much for that behavior and is more content to have the window cracked and just look out… LOL…
Yep – she’s something else… Then again, all four are so unique and different in their own ways, you gotta stay on your toes just to keep with them and their behaviors!... Now if I could just learn and advanced form of ‘doggie speak’ I’d have it made!... LOL… I probably miss half of what they’re saying to me!!... And it's NOT because I'm from the South either!!
As Always,
The Lady
Saturday, May 6, 2006
Peanut Gets the Last Word!

(excerpt REAL Family Press - 2006 - copyrighted Linda Nelson AKA "The Lady")
This morning when I grabbed my keys, Peanut's harness and said, “Peanut, wanna take a ride?” (the command I use for her alone), her head’s up, her ears are out, and she bounded out of the cubby hole she’d formed in the blankets like a rabbit… Usually she waits on the arm of the recliner for me to put her harness on, and then I reach for her, carrying her on my left side about waist high…
Once her harness was on, she had springs in her back legs… Jumping, jumping… Almost flying into my arms and if I hadn’t been paying attention, she’d have sailed right over my left shoulder… Thank goodness I had the handle of the leash in my left hand… Otherwise I’d not have stopped her ‘flight’ skyward~!!!... Peanut's like - ”OK, Mom… I’m ready… Are you ready, Mom?... Let’s go… Whatcha waiting for, Mom?”... LOL…
Peanut doesn’t care for riding in Paul’s Saturn… Because of the way the seats sit, she can’t see out the windows if she’s on my lap in the Saturn… And MY lap is her primo choice of sitting spots at ALL times regardless…
But in "The Beast" (my truck), she can sit on my lap, front legs over my left forearm and she has an excellent view through the window of everything going on… BTW, she also has her own pet seat that hangs over the back of the truck seat in the center... But she prefers to go back and forth in the front seat…
And Peanut's as nimble as a mountain goat with the ‘sea legs’ of a salty fisherman… She’s learned to ‘lean into’ a turn, brace herself for a stop, etc… Pretty amazing to watch her in fact… Actually, really amazing...
This morning my daughter, Desiree, has not only her purse, but a stack of binders AND another bag of stuff she’s stashing in her locker… So she took up the entire middle of the seat where Peanut usually patrols…
Not cool!!!!!!!!!! LOL...
I opened my side of the truck, Peanut took another flying leap, found her usual spot taken and landed square on top of Desiree’s freshly shaved thighs on her second 'bound'… LOL…
Peanut DID have the last word on Desiree’s ‘squatting’ on her territory of the center seat… … Might teach Desiree to not wear a skirt if she intends on hogging up the whole front seat with her stuff!!!
As Always,
The Lady
Monday, March 6, 2006
Peanut and the Crows... Too Funny!
(REAL Family Press - 2006 - copyrighted Linda Nelson AKA "The Lady")
Morning, Y’all… For as long as I have had the privilege of taking care of the puppers and providing them with a home, I have never ever had a day when I didn’t get at least ONE major “giggle ‘til the middle jiggles” or “laugh until you cry” episodes… Yesterday was no exception either… LOL…
I think y’all all know by now just how much I despise those *&?!^%& crows… Not simply because they prey on the songbirds and their babies around here, or because some of the bigger ones make it a hobby of theirs to peck at and destroy anything shiny that’s at their level…
It’s not even because of that ridiculous “group participation” thingy they do to gather on my roof and collectively “tap-tap-tap” at my skylight… A few of them seem to enjoy it immensely to stand there (once having gotten my attention) to look down through the skylight at me, turning their head from side to side with those dark black beady eyes and mock me, ‘cause they know my power is only as great as the end of my broomstick… They haven’t popped a hole in the screen of the skylight yet… (I did say “yet”)… But it’s just a matter of time – you mark my words…
And I’m POSITIVE they just LOVE to see me fly out of my garage in my pajamas and robe some mornings, fussin’ at them… “Shoo you crows – shoo! Get out of here!”… Despite any speed of my steps, they don’t even bother to fly away~~!!!… They just walk a bit faster and if there’s even a chance I’ll catch one of them varmints, they’ll fly up to the gable of the house and look down at me as if to say “Nanny-nanny boo-boo, you can’t catch me…”… LOL…
But the thing that gets to me the most is the absolute PURE arrogance they express with everything they do… Most every morning the crew starts at one end of the cul-de-sac and then make their way down the street to the other end of the cul-de-sac… There’s about 13-15 of them now…
Some walk on the sidewalks, most on the lawns and even some in the very middle of the street… But as they walk with that “step – head bob – step” swagger, stopping to poke at this plant or that stone, they do it with pure arrogance… Like they are they’re surveying THEIR domain and we’re just interlopers on their property… grrrrrrrrrrrr……….
There’s one of them who seems to be the ring leader who’s probably weighs in at about 20 pounds (seriously!)… I have named him “Vito” because it’s not that hard to imagine him sitting somewhere with the rest of his cronies, discussing today’s “take”… He’s pretty darned smart too… I’ve watched him do some amazing stuff in the past two years or so, but that’s another Press one day… LOL….
So anyway, yesterday the puppers had been outside in the back yard, doing their business… Runnin’ round… Loving life… I opened the back patio door and called – all but Peanut came in right away… Peanut looks at me, she knows it’s time for her to come in, but heads in another direction because she’s not yet done her business…
So I stand there at the back door, waiting for her to do “what a pup’s gotta do” and then come in…
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Vito swooping in on a slow decline with the intended destination being the grass in our backyard (which had gotten quite high recently)… Apparently Vito had been waiting for the dogs to vacate the backyard and apparently thought all had… WRONG~~!!!!
About ten feet away from Peanut and about four feet off the ground, Vito spots Peanut and does this highly comical “Oh SH&T” movement with his wings, flapping them like crazy and jerking himself up and down in jerky movements as he’s trying to regain lift and air underneath those massive wings to at least raise him the two or three feet that he needs to land on the back brick fence…
Then - almost at the same instant - Peanut spotted this huge crow coming in for a landing in HER backyard and OMG – the absolute NERVE of this crow~!!!.... She starts doing these mini jumps up into the air from an upright position on her back legs, doing her absolute best to just get her teeth into those black tail feathers which are just inches away from her mouth… Just inches~!!!...
From inside the house, I’m dying~!!... I’m literally dying~~!!... I’m watching this whole chain of events unfolding in front of my eyes between this huge black bird trying to stay out of this tiny Chihuahua’s mouth with all of his power… And as hard as he’s flapping his wings to remain airborne, Peanut’s jumping up and down to get just one teeny tiny bite into that crow’s rear end…
I don’t DARE laugh out loud because I’ll distract one of the two of them, but I’m just about doubled over in silent laughter… I’m also prepared to fly out the back door (literally) in the event Vito doesn’t clear the back fence… He’s big enough and mean enough to peck her eyes out without skipping a beat… So if he had landed and Peanut were still out there, I knew I’d have run out to shoo him away for Peanuts’ own protection~~!!…
Vito JUST makes the back brick wall at the very last minute and then shakes his feathers off, proceeding down the fence with an attitude of “Yeah.. did you see what just happened?... Well, that’s what I planned to do all along.. Really!...” … And then he starts preening his feathers as they must have been bent all out of place when he turned on the nitro, trying to make that rapid ascent as he did…
I guess Peanut figured that she’s not going to kick any “birdie butt” this time… So she heads back to the “I am going to smell this entire backyard until I find the perfect spot to deposit my previous poo” routine, restarting crisscrossing the backyard again… From the top of the brick back fence, Vito begins that ridiculous “step – head bob – step” movement, and begins to walk down the full length of the back fence…
Without warning, Peanut finds the ultimate BEST spot to do her business…
I don’t know if you’ve ever watched a Chihuahua do this particular thing (LOL, probably not), but they have issues because of how their body is configured… I’m trying to stay delicate here, so bear with me, folks… LOL… But this particular dog breed has to REALLY curl themselves over into a ball to make this particular body function happen…
And while she’s in this position, I guess Vito got tired of waiting for her to go away… So Vito starts this large flapping movement with his wings at the same time as he starts running down the back fence in a “glump.. glump.. glump..” movement, trying to jump up and then fly away… Peanut is beyond the committed point (if you know what I mean) and she’s sorta/kind stuck in this “curled over Nautilus” position…
But the object of her desire (Vito) is about to move out of her range and she’s just SO close, ya know?... LOL… So she’s trying to walk, hop, run (well, sorta/kinda run) in this major bow-legged, doubled-over position, barking to beat the band as Vito gets airborne eventually and start sailing away…
You can just see the dejected expression on Peanuts’ face of “Oh well, folks… I tried… I really did… But what can you do, ya know?”…
By this point I have been laughing so hard (silently), that I’m doubled over, just about nauseated and can no longer hold it back any MORE… Peanuts sends me this curious look as if “what’s with you, Mom?”, does a few of those Moonwalk steps with her two back feet and then makes a beeline for me as I’m still standing by the back patio door waiting ... LOL… Like I said, every day is a full joy of unexpected pleasures~~!!... Ya gotta love ‘em~!!
As Always,
The Lady
Morning, Y’all… For as long as I have had the privilege of taking care of the puppers and providing them with a home, I have never ever had a day when I didn’t get at least ONE major “giggle ‘til the middle jiggles” or “laugh until you cry” episodes… Yesterday was no exception either… LOL…
I think y’all all know by now just how much I despise those *&?!^%& crows… Not simply because they prey on the songbirds and their babies around here, or because some of the bigger ones make it a hobby of theirs to peck at and destroy anything shiny that’s at their level…
It’s not even because of that ridiculous “group participation” thingy they do to gather on my roof and collectively “tap-tap-tap” at my skylight… A few of them seem to enjoy it immensely to stand there (once having gotten my attention) to look down through the skylight at me, turning their head from side to side with those dark black beady eyes and mock me, ‘cause they know my power is only as great as the end of my broomstick… They haven’t popped a hole in the screen of the skylight yet… (I did say “yet”)… But it’s just a matter of time – you mark my words…
And I’m POSITIVE they just LOVE to see me fly out of my garage in my pajamas and robe some mornings, fussin’ at them… “Shoo you crows – shoo! Get out of here!”… Despite any speed of my steps, they don’t even bother to fly away~~!!!… They just walk a bit faster and if there’s even a chance I’ll catch one of them varmints, they’ll fly up to the gable of the house and look down at me as if to say “Nanny-nanny boo-boo, you can’t catch me…”… LOL…
But the thing that gets to me the most is the absolute PURE arrogance they express with everything they do… Most every morning the crew starts at one end of the cul-de-sac and then make their way down the street to the other end of the cul-de-sac… There’s about 13-15 of them now…
Some walk on the sidewalks, most on the lawns and even some in the very middle of the street… But as they walk with that “step – head bob – step” swagger, stopping to poke at this plant or that stone, they do it with pure arrogance… Like they are they’re surveying THEIR domain and we’re just interlopers on their property… grrrrrrrrrrrr……….
There’s one of them who seems to be the ring leader who’s probably weighs in at about 20 pounds (seriously!)… I have named him “Vito” because it’s not that hard to imagine him sitting somewhere with the rest of his cronies, discussing today’s “take”… He’s pretty darned smart too… I’ve watched him do some amazing stuff in the past two years or so, but that’s another Press one day… LOL….
So anyway, yesterday the puppers had been outside in the back yard, doing their business… Runnin’ round… Loving life… I opened the back patio door and called – all but Peanut came in right away… Peanut looks at me, she knows it’s time for her to come in, but heads in another direction because she’s not yet done her business…
So I stand there at the back door, waiting for her to do “what a pup’s gotta do” and then come in…
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Vito swooping in on a slow decline with the intended destination being the grass in our backyard (which had gotten quite high recently)… Apparently Vito had been waiting for the dogs to vacate the backyard and apparently thought all had… WRONG~~!!!!
About ten feet away from Peanut and about four feet off the ground, Vito spots Peanut and does this highly comical “Oh SH&T” movement with his wings, flapping them like crazy and jerking himself up and down in jerky movements as he’s trying to regain lift and air underneath those massive wings to at least raise him the two or three feet that he needs to land on the back brick fence…
Then - almost at the same instant - Peanut spotted this huge crow coming in for a landing in HER backyard and OMG – the absolute NERVE of this crow~!!!.... She starts doing these mini jumps up into the air from an upright position on her back legs, doing her absolute best to just get her teeth into those black tail feathers which are just inches away from her mouth… Just inches~!!!...
From inside the house, I’m dying~!!... I’m literally dying~~!!... I’m watching this whole chain of events unfolding in front of my eyes between this huge black bird trying to stay out of this tiny Chihuahua’s mouth with all of his power… And as hard as he’s flapping his wings to remain airborne, Peanut’s jumping up and down to get just one teeny tiny bite into that crow’s rear end…
I don’t DARE laugh out loud because I’ll distract one of the two of them, but I’m just about doubled over in silent laughter… I’m also prepared to fly out the back door (literally) in the event Vito doesn’t clear the back fence… He’s big enough and mean enough to peck her eyes out without skipping a beat… So if he had landed and Peanut were still out there, I knew I’d have run out to shoo him away for Peanuts’ own protection~~!!…
Vito JUST makes the back brick wall at the very last minute and then shakes his feathers off, proceeding down the fence with an attitude of “Yeah.. did you see what just happened?... Well, that’s what I planned to do all along.. Really!...” … And then he starts preening his feathers as they must have been bent all out of place when he turned on the nitro, trying to make that rapid ascent as he did…
I guess Peanut figured that she’s not going to kick any “birdie butt” this time… So she heads back to the “I am going to smell this entire backyard until I find the perfect spot to deposit my previous poo” routine, restarting crisscrossing the backyard again… From the top of the brick back fence, Vito begins that ridiculous “step – head bob – step” movement, and begins to walk down the full length of the back fence…
Without warning, Peanut finds the ultimate BEST spot to do her business…
I don’t know if you’ve ever watched a Chihuahua do this particular thing (LOL, probably not), but they have issues because of how their body is configured… I’m trying to stay delicate here, so bear with me, folks… LOL… But this particular dog breed has to REALLY curl themselves over into a ball to make this particular body function happen…
And while she’s in this position, I guess Vito got tired of waiting for her to go away… So Vito starts this large flapping movement with his wings at the same time as he starts running down the back fence in a “glump.. glump.. glump..” movement, trying to jump up and then fly away… Peanut is beyond the committed point (if you know what I mean) and she’s sorta/kind stuck in this “curled over Nautilus” position…
But the object of her desire (Vito) is about to move out of her range and she’s just SO close, ya know?... LOL… So she’s trying to walk, hop, run (well, sorta/kinda run) in this major bow-legged, doubled-over position, barking to beat the band as Vito gets airborne eventually and start sailing away…
You can just see the dejected expression on Peanuts’ face of “Oh well, folks… I tried… I really did… But what can you do, ya know?”…
By this point I have been laughing so hard (silently), that I’m doubled over, just about nauseated and can no longer hold it back any MORE… Peanuts sends me this curious look as if “what’s with you, Mom?”, does a few of those Moonwalk steps with her two back feet and then makes a beeline for me as I’m still standing by the back patio door waiting ... LOL… Like I said, every day is a full joy of unexpected pleasures~~!!... Ya gotta love ‘em~!!
As Always,
The Lady
Sunday, February 19, 2006
Peanut Peculiarities

(REAL Family Press - 2006 - copyrighted Linda Nelson AKA "The Lady")
Here I sit ‘still pregnant’… LOL… Peanut’s taken up her old habits again… Her personal preference is to be on my lap underneath my robe or whatever else I have on… (not always convenient if you know what I mean)… It’s like being 6 months pregnant with a 4 lb hot water bag on your lap… …
What a funny little pupper she is… Des is going to the adult school to get the jump on her studies with a class, so we’ve begun the morning trek this week… Peanut used to go everywhere with me before I got so sick in June, so for awhile those “Wanna take a ride?” queries of her had stopped… Once I had said that, Peanut would be up on the arm of the chair closest to the door, waiting for her harness… As well as any other time she saw me grab my truck keys… LOL… And if she didn’t go?... She give you one of those REAL sorry looks of hers… LOL…
She has a center high seat in my truck so she can ‘survey her domain’… While Rogaine will simply bark at other cars (no one ever handed him an award for his smarts), Peanut is particular at who or what she lords over… Other puppers?... Without a doubt regardless of their size… People on the street usually get a waggle of the tail until she determines they are not Desiree – then she just watches, watches, watches them…
She lets NO ONE close to ‘The Beast’ as we call my truck… Think she puts her ‘zone’ around the truck and if I’ve got the seat pushed back, eyes closed, waiting for Des, she hits her zone button and is on the prowl…
“HALT… Who goes there?... You’re not Mom, Daddy or Desiree~!... Proceed any further and I’ll jump right out of my high chair and give you a ‘what for’ bigger than I am… (Hey, Mom… Wake up... low growl)… Some big ole goober is getting close to our big white moveable dog house here”…
“YOU THERE – I MEAN WHAT I SAY – PAY ATTENTION TO ME BECAUSE I’M THE PEANUT AND I OWN ALL I SURVEY”…. Lord have mercy, Peanut can REALLY get to going with her jumping up and down, that SHRILL bark of hers inside the cab of a truck – it makes your ears and head hurt – seriously!!…
I’ve had more people in a parking lot move away from the truck once she’s rolling just because she’s SO insistent about this… She’s just as bad about my lap… I can’t tolerate the others stepping on my stomach any more – and they step without mercy if you’re not careful… She’s so tiny, the weight is not an issue… So she knows she’s the only one that I allow to sit on my lap and the others have to be my side… If they attempt anything else, she licks their eyes over and over… Don’t know what that means in dog-talk but I guess ‘cause I don’t let her growl at them, she still thinks she’s establishing her dominance by licking them to death… LOL…
Peanut’s figured out how to get from the back yard into the pool yard… I’ve put garden fencing along the wrought iron gating just about everywhere and I STILL can’t find how she’s doing it… She knows how to swim (and the ONLY one of the four that know to swim immediately to the steps to get out… Geesh… Smallest, shortest time with us and smartest – wouldn’t that figure?)… But I still don’t want her over by the pool when I’m not out there… Just me…
So for weeks, I’ve tried to catch her ‘going over the top’ and haven’t been… There’s an 18” brick wall the wrought iron fence stands on… It’s only a lengthwise brick wide too… Not much of a landing pad if she jumps up and onto it… But Peanut is like a mountain goat as far as jumping and walking precariously on things… Not a major risk taker, she’s still very nimble on her feet… She’d rather get as close to you as she can, and then give you those “Awwww… Ain’t I just tooooo cute???” (eyelash batting looks) to soften you up!... LOL…
Before I got sick, Paul surprised me with a pink pupper pram I’d been looking at and drooling over… I haven’t yet gotten to take it out for a stroll with the Peanut but once I get the energy levels back up, I’m going to use that for an exercise for her and I… Don’t care one bit what anyone else thinks either… Peanut’s my one luxury and comfort critter that tolerates just about everything I come up with… LOL… Even has her own raincoat ‘cause she doesn’t like to get wet…
She just did a major readjustment on my lap - which usually mean's she’s annoyed at what I’m doing with my hands – must be making too much noise on the keyboard with my nails and she can’t sleep well… LOL… Guess it's time for me to close this now!... Until later, gators!
As Always,
The Lady
Tuesday, May 4, 2004
The Natural Order of the Pack????

(REAL Family Press - copyrighted 2004 - Linda Nelson AKA "The Lady")
File this in the folder marked “If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em” but I gave up trying to keep the name of “Diva” for the Chihuahua I adopted… Paul took to calling her “Peanut” and eventually it just stuck to her like peanut butter would… LOL…
And she is a little peanut, that’s for sure… She’s healthy now, but still a bit less than six pounds… I have to watch her blood sugar – it’s a Chihuahua trait anyway, but she’s so little, if she starts smelling something good and hasn’t eaten in awhile, she gets the shakes… The best thing for her is to have a few little meals throughout the day and then it keeps her blood sugar at the right levels…
The four of them have all developed their roles and places in the “pack” now… YogiBear is still the alpha in the pack… BooBooDog is still Paul’s baby doll, getting everyone else in trouble and then standing back, watching it all… Rogaine is a compulsive eater and you can’t leave food down all day – he consistently does his prowling of the territory, looking for something else to eat… Whether he is hungry or not… If it’s there, he’ll eat it…
And Peanut knows she’s special, here and there she tries to boss everyone else around – Yogi doesn’t take any of it, BooBooDog goes back and forth over how much she’ll take and Rogaine gives in immediately…
Peanut’s also gotten the nickname of “Mouth” ‘cause she’s the one that alerts immediately despite what’s going on… And for being a little itty bitty thing, she has one really, REALLY sharp bark that goes right through it – especially if she’s close by you… LOL… Like they say, little things in little packages!
Funny thing though – both Rogaine and Peanut have to be aside of me (or in Peanut’s case, on top of my stomach), Yogi, BooBoo and Peanut will sleep with each other, Rogaine will sleep with the twins… But Rogaine and Peanut will NOT sleep with their skin touching each other~!!... Seriously~~!!...
So if they are successful in their quest to sleep touching me like they want to, then they have to solve the problem of not having their skin touching each other PLUS they BOTH like to sleep TOTALLY underneath their blankees!... But if I can out-think them ahead of time and determine where each one is going, I can make everyone happy and make sure there is a single layer of material between the two of them… And that settles it, if you can imagine that~!!... That’s all it takes for them… LOL… They just refuse to touch either one when they’re sleeping aside of me… For the life of me, I don’t understand it although Des says I’m an “animal whisperer”…. There must be something in the pack hierarchy that doesn’t allow the two of them to sleep together touching each other I guess… LOL…
There are those that must think I’m a simple minded fool to be so close to my puppers… They are a tremendous source of comfort to me though… That I cannot deny and in fact, I guess I’m a bit proud of being able to count on their loyalty to me…
Just this morning on the way to school in the truck I told Desiree I’d love to have some kind of electrode that I could “plug into” with Peanuts that would enlighten me about her past – what she’s had to go through, what her life was like before I rescued her, what truly troubles her so that I will never do it myself even accidentally, what pleases her the very most, etc…
I have to do a lot of observing and 'sensing' to be with her where I am today… She came to us very damaged in so many ways… She jumped like a jack-in-the-box all the time at first… Loud noises scared her… Fast moves… Dog food was passed up for junk food (of just about any kind- she’s a major fast food junkie with the likes of greasy French fries, tacos, you name it)…
For weeks after she arrived here, I could not get a harness and lead easily on her... I got several bites just trying, until finally I got one on and left it on (with the lead attached) just so that I could catch her when I needed to!... More than once I thought to myself I'd taken on more than I could handle with this little pupper!... I 'felt' inside she wanted to react differently and I can't actually explain what I'm trying to say here, but it was like a '6th sense' about things... She just didn't know how to react differently to the circumstances and situations that were going on around her...
Peanut was also so tentative as far as new things she’d not experienced yet – they frightened her and you could never be assured she’d not jump out of your arms and head for the hills without a warning… If you were lucky (and there was no guarantee that always happened), she'd eventually come out from underneath a bed - only on her time and not yours - but her eyes always said she was scared out of her wits!
As they say, "we've come a long way, baby! since THEN and NOW... Anything is possible, if only you believe!
As Always,
The Lady
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